As far as home is concerned; it is the function of a woman to build her home.

A wise woman is the one that God endowed with wisdom and patience to see beyond the challenges of marriage or in spite all the odds in her matrimonial home still refuses to quit, but forge ahead until her home is properly built while a home is a place of rest for a happy family. After all the stress outside, when raining or sunning and the hurdles to overcome in a daily activities, home is a place to refresh and a place of comfort.

It is a woman that lays the foundation of her home through the decision she must have taken earlier in life. The choice of man you want to spend the rest of your life with; the picture of the kind of home you desire to have.

A woman is a structure builder, she is a repairer of systems in her home, and she puts many good things in place in her husband’s life. She is a woman of knowledge and understanding. She must be a good woman who sees opportunities in challenges of life; she refuses to give up on her desire even when everything is working against her. She is courageous, tenacious and persistent until she fulfils her dreams.

Originally, a woman is to be married out of her father’s house to join her husband where she can call her home. Her home is the only place she can claim ownership if she is able to find the right choice of man. She prepares the home as a place of origin for her children where they can lay claim for ever. Her desire shall be to her husband, and she must submit to his ruler-ship.

There are some requirements a woman must fulfill before she can build a home. And this can only be achieved through the Spirit of God.

The woman must be wise and desire to build her home. She must refuse to go back to her father’s house even if everything is working against her.

She must be devoted and committed through love.

She must be her husband’s best friend. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer for there are always rewards for a praying woman.

A woman who depends on her knowledge, intelligence, wealth, background, beauty and connection to build her home got maimed, stranded and frustrated out of that home, either by sudden death or by a power bigger than her and her place of honour turned to a land of reproach.

Every wise woman builds her house but the foolish plucked it down with her hands.

Settling down in marriage is ever the dream of most young men and women today, which is a good thing to behold, but there is no marriage without its own challenges.

During counseling, the intending couples are always made to know that no marriage can be rosy all the time. Patience is the best solution to such problems. And this is a way to strengthen the relationship, for it to last for ever.

When problems come, it almost tear things apart, as a result of this, strange attitude will emerge such as fighting, shouting, hurting each other, crying, raining abusive languages, getting friends and relatives involved etc. by these, the couple that has vowed and boasted never to be separated, now ready to pack their baggage and run out of the relationship.

The story of Lorena who had such experience as this and she felt that the challenge she was facing in her marriage can end her life. About eighteen years back after my wedding with my husband Ken, things were going on as expected, we were enjoying our relationship and God blessed us with two female children, from where the trouble started.

My husband was looking for a male child by all means. He believed it was my fault for not having a male child. After several years of trying all methods, all to no avail. He changed his attitude towards me, accusing me for deliberately not wanting to have another child. He called me different kinds of names, sometimes beating and slapping me. Then he started having affairs outside our marriage coming back home late at night, he would go out and not coming back for three days or weeks.

I was really maltreated and humiliated, I have prayed and used all sorts of methods to please him, but it didn’t work. When I saw that my life has been so affected that I can end up like that, I decided to pack out of my home. The problem now is that experience of loneliness and singleness is weighing me down, I have employed different people to intervene in this case, yet he said he will not allow me back to his house. I have missed my children “please what should I do before somebody else takes my place and things become worst than anticipated” Lorena.

To every door there must be a key, to gain access to your house, you must open the door with the key to it, otherwise; you would not be able to enter even though you are the right owner of the house. This fact is applicable even to marriage.

There are rules and guidelines to follow to make your marriage a success by gradually following these and be honest to yourself, in a short while, you will see yourself in charge of the whole situations. The keys are as follows:

1.                 Depend on God in taking decision about your choice in marriage, for it is a life long decision or journey. Let Him determine the direction to follow.

2.                 Faith is the victory that overcomes the world. Build up your faith and see victory ahead, no matter the situation you may find yourself.

3.                 Believe in your man and believe in yourself. Don’t ever look down on yourself.

4.                 Always learn to stand alone, especially when the norms and traditions of the society can jeopardize the success of your marriage.

5.                 Be careful so that you don’t impose things on your man or insist that everything be done in your own way. It can destroy your marriage, your man and your future.

6.                 Man should not underestimate the power of his wife. Her support or approval alone can sometimes go along way to the difference between success and failure.

7.                 Your man is attracted to you because you are what he needs. Not that you married him or he married you out of pity.

8.                 Woman should not deny her man the freedom to take chances or to act on his dreams, or else he won’t be able to take his position as a man.

9.                 It is better to trust and believe in someone (your man) than to be doing thing in your way without control.

10.             Try to work things together toward the same goal; surely you will get there faster.

11.             If you marry him like eagle, be ready to fly high with him or you remain on the ground or you will be left behind.

12.             Man should be mindful at what he says to his wife, tell her always how you feel about her.

13.             It requires just a little bit of consideration to bring about harmony in marriage. It is a very important issue in this subject.

14.             A very little and inexperience acts of love that usually keep romance alive in marriage.

15.             It is highly difficult or not easy for husband and wife to show love to their children, if they don’t show love to each other.

16.             Most of the times by trying to avoid arguments and differences, can be destructive to marriage. It is better to say what is in your mind and settle it once and for all.

17.             Many couples are jealous about their spouse’s work. They see the work taking their position in their spouse’s life.

18.             Parents should live an exemplary life in order to demand the moral code of their children.

19.             Be honest and be loyal to your spouse and to the entire family.

20.             Be thankful and appreciate each other as much as possible as the occasion demands.

Ponder on those keys above; there are special ingredients that are required in order to have a successful marital life.

The Institution of marriage originated from God himself. And he has a special design for it by which or should be carried out for a maximum enjoyment. Marriage is not the idea of society, but it is from God. It all started from the Garden of Eden Gen.2:18, when God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. Anyway, I believe we all know the story.
God made it clear that, marriage involves two things: leaving father and mother and cleaving to each other. Leaving and cleaving are decisions to leave home and join each other for a lifetime and establishing a new family and a new priority.
Marriage involves making a legal contract when standing together, whether before a justice of the peace, a pastor or priest and make commitment to each other legally. As it is written; therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Marriage ultimately is a covenant, a binding agreement, made before God, for it is God who joins husband and wife together. God involves in this covenant and he is the one who seals it. Therefore marriage is different from all other relationships and that is the reason why efforts to undo marriage create big problems and serious pain.
Families whose children marry would be wise to note that God describes leaving and cleaving as the natural order of events when couples marry. Many marriages crash and burn on the rocks of a partner’s refusal to leave Mummy and Daddy. Leaving does not mean moving physically, rather it means choosing to nurture the new family over those with one’s blood relatives. Cleaving in the real sense of it means; to be joined together, to cling together or to be cemented as one. It should not be separated.
Marriage is a serious commitment, the God’s design for it is spiritual, emotional and physical oneness. He makes a couple one flesh, that is God plus husbands and wives together in a unique one-flesh union and no one should tamper with it. This is a decision of the will, for a man to take a woman for better for worse, for richer for poorer; in sickness, in health till death do them part, and vise visa. That is why it’s very important for believers to marry only believers where the two will have the fear of God. And they will be committed to one another for a lifetime, knowing that there will assuredly be tough times, but still, marriage can be a life’s greatest blessing.
In Mathew 19, Jesus made an emphasis about the uniqueness of marriage; what God has joined together let no man put asunder.
Therefore, leaving and cleaving in marriage could be describe as the natural order of events when couples marry.

Marriages, not blessed with the eternal affinity of love, properly balanced and proportioned with sex cannot be happy ones and seldom endure.
Love is without question, life’s greatest experience. The emotion of love brings out and develops, the artistic and the aesthetic nature of men. It leaves its impress upon ones very soul, even after the fire has been subdued by time and circumstances. Memories of love never pass. They linger, guide, and influence long after that source of stimulation has faded. Anyone who has been moved by real or genuine love knows that it leaves enduring traces upon the human heart.
The effect of love endures, simply because, love is spiritual in nature. Remember your yesterday, at times and search your mind in the beautiful memories of pass love. It will soften the influence of the present worries and annoyances
Sex was ordained by God from the time of creation, in which he had a special plan for it, how it should be carried out. It is suppose to be an enjoyable process of fruitfulness and not to be abused.
The entire subject of sex is one with which the majority of people appear to be unpardonably ignorant. The urge of sex has been grossly misunderstood and slandered, by the ignorant and the evil minded, for so long that the very word sex is seldom used in polite society.
The major difference between the emotions of love and sex is that love is spiritual, while sex is biological. No experience which touches the human heart with a spiritual force can possibly be harmful, except through ignorance and jealousy. Love is without question, life’s greatest experience.
The Love which one feels for parents or children is quite different from the which one feels for one’s sweetheart. One is mixed with the emotion of sex, while the other is not. Home where love, romance and the proper understanding of the emotion and function of sex dwell, there is no disharmony between married couple. The misunderstanding often expressed in the form of nagging, may usually be traced to lack of knowledged on the subject of sex.
It is that no woman has as great an influence on a man as his wife, unless he is married to a woman totally not his desire one for his nature. If a woman permits her husband to lose interest in her to go after other women, it is usually because of her ignorance, or indifference toward the subject of sex, love and romance. Ignorance is the greatest mountain to happiness and satisfaction in the areas of romance within marriage. Sexual intercourse in marriage goes a long way toward solving crucial problems and helping couples to enjoy their sex life together. If you want to be the lover your mate desires and needs, then you just have to change your attitudes towards sex which is the vital ingredient of a happy marriage.

Level of interest and timing are not parallel for most couples, so some interesting challenges  arise as a result of this . The first question that comes up here is that, why is she not in the mood ? is it fatigue or illness or any other physiological situation which to be considered to be a genuine resons , unless  there is a major obstacle , mood often can be generated through listening , affection and sacrificial love .

A woman’s lack of excitement  about  the prospect of sexual relationship could be understood when considering the  amount of energy most women expend on work , housework and kids . They usually have little energy left for this great experience .

And if she is letter succumb to her man’s request , it is just to  fulfill all righteousness which she will not even enjoy .

Sex is the number one priority of most men in marriage , some often say ”why do i get married if i cannot  enjoy my sexual life” .

Most women see their own primary need as to have a partner who listen and converses intently. By this, most loving spouses spend the majority of thier time to demostrate to his or her  mate with stuff that is not a real priority for that persons.

For some women, getting  aroused sometime is more a decision than a product of stimulation by har husband.

If such women have decided they are not interrested , caressing her body will annoy them the more , and if they have decided to go into it , the same romancing will always arouse them .

 This discussion has its biblical backing in 1 corinthians 7, that married couples have a responsibility to meet thier husbands or wives ongoing sexual needs .

We all have sexual desire that God created and the scriptures assume that if we are married , we will meet each others need and if unmarried then we be like Paul Apostle,[celibacy] that is, to remain sexually inactive.

Yet sexual is cleary what God desires and has determined to  be best for our well being .

In conclussion, it is important for spouse with the lower sexual desire to recognise that there are othjer resons to initaite sex closeness , comfort, love etc apart from the body that has keen desire for it

Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. That is why there is an increase in couples seeking marriage counseling. Nobody wants to think that the marriage they are in will end. Marriage counseling offers a way for couples to work thorough problems with an outside influence. Marriage counseling can help couples to rebuild a marriage that was on the way to divorce.

Marriage counseling is a type of therapy that helps married couples resolve problems they may be having in their marriage. Most often counseling is conducted with both partners present. However, sometimes there will be individual sessions depending on the couples needs. The basis for marriage counseling is research that has shown problems in a marriage are best solved through communication and working together. Marriage counseling usually lasts a short period of time, until the problems are resolved and the marriage is back on track and the couple can handle problems on their own. In a session the counselor will ask questions, listen and analyze problems. The counseling usually starts with an analysis of the marriage and its problems. Then the problems are worked through to an amicable conclusion.

Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy. They also have an understanding about families, how to understand client’s needs and problems. They also have training that allows them to help clients work through the problems to reach conclusions. All of this training lets them be able to identify underlying problems. A good marriage counselor will not make a client feel guilty or blame. They will teach clients to work through problems and get over bad feelings.

Marriage counseling can help couples open the lines of communication. Communication has been shown to be the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Couples with problems seek marriage counseling o get a better understanding of what has went wrong in their marriage, so they can once again have a string marriage.

Some people say that the first five years of marriage is the hardest, some others say its the first seven years.

But, do you know that those numbers are not significant? No matter how long or short the age of your marriage is, problems will always be there. Those having been married for fifteen years or more can be trapped into any troubles.

So, both spouses need to put all their effort to make the marriage work. It cant be just the wife or the husband. It takes two to tango.

What to do then?

“Communication

The most crucial thing in a marriage is communication. If it doesnt go well, consider your marriage over. A good communication is the key to a happy marriage. With it you can express your thoughts and feelings to each other. It helps you both create an understanding towards each other. If you have problems, talk about them openly.

“Commit

Make sure that both of you are committed to make the marriage work. This has to be one of the most important things to consider before you say I do. And, later, during the years, you should restore your commitment to keep it fresh.

“Respect Each other

In any relationship, either its friendship or others, it is important to have respect towards each other.

“Love and love

When you decided to get married, you had so much love for your partner. Keep it alive by memorizing all your beautiful moments together.

“Romance

Who says that married couple cannot date? Of course they can. And, they have to, if they want to have a successful marriage and avoid the most frightening word, divorce.

Dont ever wish for a perfect marriage. Nothing is perfect in this world. The most important thing is that both you and your spouse are willing to have a happy marriage. Happiness is enough. Happiness is all you need.